活久見就是如此 來得措手不及
有點懷念剛開始寫文章的感覺
那時候真的是因為時間充裕加上滿腔的愛與熱忱
現在愛當然不減 可是總要因為負面情緒才會讓我想動筆
請體諒我一回來就翻比較悲傷的歌曲(可是這首歌既難過又好聽!)
這可能是我目前找到最適合自己宣洩情感的辦法了
04 I Don’t Like Myself
我不喜歡自己
One day, I'll change my ways
有一天,我會自我蛻變
Till then, I'm stuck in this space
在到來之前,我會困在這個空間
Shut down and hiding my face
封閉且藏起我的臉
Tuned out and losing my faith
不理睬並失去信心
Stand up, tired of being the victim
振作,厭倦當一個受害者
You only on the outs, if you with them
若和他們一塊,你只會自相矛盾
Only hurts if you give 'em credence (Ah)
若信任他們,你只會感到傷痛(喔)
Give 'em reasons (Ah)
給出理由(喔)
They're not better than you
他們並不比你好
They're just a figment of imagination*1
他們只是你想像出來的
There are times when I don't like myself
總有些時候我不喜歡自己
I believe all the things that they say about me ('Bout me)
我對他們給我的評價深信不疑(對我)
I wanna love myself, just likе everyone еlse
我想愛我自己,如同其他人一樣
But there are times when I don't like myself
可是總有些時候我不喜歡自己
This life is beating me down
這樣的生活擊倒了我
But karma is coming around
但是因果報應隨之而來
Tongue-tied, and you got the best of me
舌頭打結,你將我打敗
A nightmare that's filling my dreams*2
夢魘充斥著我的夢境
Stand up, tired of being the victim
振作,厭倦當一個受害者
You only on the outs, if you with them
若和他們一塊,你只會自相矛盾
Only hurts if you give 'em credence (Ah)
若信任他們,你只會感到傷痛(喔)
Give 'em reasons (Ah)
給出理由(喔)
They're not better than you
他們並不比你好
They're just a figment of imagination
他們只是你想像出來的
There are times when I don't like myself (There are times)
Till then, I'm stuck in this space
在到來之前,我會困在這個空間
Shut down and hiding my face
封閉且藏起我的臉
Tuned out and losing my faith
不理睬並失去信心
Stand up, tired of being the victim
振作,厭倦當一個受害者
You only on the outs, if you with them
若和他們一塊,你只會自相矛盾
Only hurts if you give 'em credence (Ah)
若信任他們,你只會感到傷痛(喔)
Give 'em reasons (Ah)
給出理由(喔)
They're not better than you
他們並不比你好
They're just a figment of imagination*1
他們只是你想像出來的
There are times when I don't like myself
總有些時候我不喜歡自己
I believe all the things that they say about me ('Bout me)
我對他們給我的評價深信不疑(對我)
I wanna love myself, just likе everyone еlse
我想愛我自己,如同其他人一樣
But there are times when I don't like myself
可是總有些時候我不喜歡自己
This life is beating me down
這樣的生活擊倒了我
But karma is coming around
但是因果報應隨之而來
Tongue-tied, and you got the best of me
舌頭打結,你將我打敗
A nightmare that's filling my dreams*2
夢魘充斥著我的夢境
Stand up, tired of being the victim
振作,厭倦當一個受害者
You only on the outs, if you with them
若和他們一塊,你只會自相矛盾
Only hurts if you give 'em credence (Ah)
若信任他們,你只會感到傷痛(喔)
Give 'em reasons (Ah)
給出理由(喔)
They're not better than you
他們並不比你好
They're just a figment of imagination
他們只是你想像出來的
There are times when I don't like myself (There are times)
總有些時候我不喜歡自己(有些時候)
I believe all the things that they say about me ('Bout me)
I believe all the things that they say about me ('Bout me)
我對他們給我的評價深信不疑(對我)
I wanna love myself, just like everyone else
I wanna love myself, just like everyone else
我想愛我自己,如同其他人一樣
But there are times when I don't like myself
But there are times when I don't like myself
可是總有些時候我不喜歡自己
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-I-I'll walk through fire for this
我,我,我會赴湯蹈火
I will be the one to turn this car around
我會是從頭來過的那號人物
'Cause it's headed for disaster
因為災難即將襲來
No happily ever after*3
往後再也沒有幸福
And I've got so much more to live for
而我還有許多活下去的理由
Than what you think of me
比你認為的還要多
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-da, I-da, I-da, I don't, I-da, li-li-li-li-like myself
我不,我不,我不不不不喜歡自己
I-da, like myself
我不,不喜歡自己
I-I-I'll walk through fire for this
我,我,我會赴湯蹈火
I will be the one to turn this car around
我會是從頭來過的那號人物
'Cause it's headed for disaster
因為災難即將襲來
No happily ever after*3
往後再也沒有幸福
And I've got so much more to live for
而我還有許多活下去的理由
Than what you think of me
比你認為的還要多
There are times when I don't like myself (There are times)
總有些時候我不喜歡自己(有些時候)
I believe all the things that they say about me ('Bout me)
我對他們給我的評價深信不疑(對我)
I wanna love myself, just like everyone else
我想愛我自己,如同其他人一樣
But there are times when I don't like myself
可是總有些時候我不喜歡自己
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-da-da, da-da, I don't like myself
我不,我不,我不喜歡自己
I-da, I-da, I-da, I don't, I-da, li-li-li-li-like myself
我不,我不,我不不不不喜歡自己
I-da, like myself
我不,不喜歡自己
________________________________________
註釋:
- 這首歌我有滿獨特的見解,各位可能要用點想像力。歌曲裡的『他們』我傾向不是實體存在的人,而是我自己認為、幻想出來的模樣,我一直以來可能都在和我想像出來的人相處,並非真正認識到他們的本質,所以當我發現他們實際的樣子便會遭受打擊,但這不是他們的錯,是我自己拒絕認清、只想和我認為的『他們』互動。
- 接續上述,發現問題所在後我徹底崩潰,我意識到自己可能因此讓彼此都受到傷害,也不敢如從前般侃侃而談,深陷自責和自我厭惡的螺旋之中。這段歌詞的『你』和之後Than what you think of me的『你』都是實際存在的人,也就是那些真正在和我相處的人。
- 經過自省後,我意識到若不改變只會迎來更糟的局面,這裡用了turn this car around滿有意思的,意味著我仍想回頭修復過往,而非讓它成為過眼雲煙。
前陣子看推特翻譯(我還是不習慣叫它X) 提到『如果不瞭解對方,就會把自己的理想和渴望放大,給對方的愛就會越發熱烈沉重。』無論是友情或愛情,人與人交往都要好好的去認識每個個體的本質,有的時候我們喜歡的只是自己所想像的人格,當你付出的愛與得到的回饋不成正比時,或是自以為和對方心靈相通但實際上並非如此時,才發現自己根本不瞭解那個人;反過來說,如果為了迎合別人強迫自己偽裝成另一個人格,也許一開始有所成效,但當你有天感覺累了、不想再繼續,這種反差可能會讓之前建立起的情感瞬間崩塌,兩敗俱傷,這樣想想後就覺得當人類有夠累啦!
愛別人之前先認識自己並喜歡自己,如果想和對方建立長久穩固的情感,就好好的讓彼此了解我是怎樣的人,理想總是豐滿,現實總是骨感,不要讓自己迷失了。
現在的我有點走丟了,還在回頭的路上,希望各位都能安好。
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